Maybe it’s true that when you look for red cars all you notice is red cars. Well, I’m in a red car, only this car feels like a freight train going through what seems like precarious rails built lifetimes ago. I remember wondering how with the chaos of India trains would run so efficiently. Of course seeing the big hole which was supposed to be the “toilet” in the filthy bathrooms of our moving Experience-the-culture-of-the-real-India was a bit daunting.

And then you’d see the hundred’s of people we would pass who were repairing, hiding from the sun for breaks, or just plain watching the NRI (Non Resident Indian) with her blue eyed kids as if they were mesmerized by the possibility of such an occurrence. And you knew by seeing them, and they seeing you, that it was a safe ride. Even if a bucket of Purell could not cure all the germies on the train, we were safe.

I have to remember the chaos of India this week. Yes, I had a birthday. Almost 40. I love getting older, but there was something funky about this birthday. Not what I did, but how I felt. Unsettled. And honestly, it’s not like me. The week before I was boasting on facebook about how grateful I was for my life. And I meant it. But something happened on July 11.

Don’t know if it was the solar eclipse, the new moon, who knows, but I silently fell into an abyss of miscommunications, landscapers cheating us of money and most sadly, feeling like I’m loosing a few friends. (It’s time, but who deals well with break ups anyway)  All the while I borrowed a book, named “Anger” by Tiht Nan Han. Great. Ok, so as I live this roller coaster, I remember our trip to India.

Oh, India is incredible. So incredible, but NOTHING could prepare me to the shock of Mumbai, and how my little one would react to it, or how my fears would creep in the middle of the night, as I watched people taking their 4am strolls through Juhu Beach, while watching my seemingly dying husband (he had dengue- mosquito infected due to his travels in the slums- joy).

I got through it. We all get through it, right? We breath. We feel the feelings. Think supportive thoughts. Seek good friends. Cry. Hope for the best. Know that it is temporary. And we get through it. Some with grace and some in shitty ways. (Like me tonight yelling at my husband). Oh well. That damn book taught me nothing.

The truth is that it is uncomfortable to feel this way. And I have to be honest, it’s been a long time since I have felt this way.

And what I am keeping close to my heart this from a newsletter called Currents of Change–

this powerful new Moon time is a call to come into right relationship.  This means initially that we need to be in right relationship with ourselves — to integrate the light and dark, the mortal and immortal aspects of ourselves.  Then, this lunar cycle is a portal for healing in our closest relationships.  It is a time for healing old emotional wounds regarding relationships and a time to enter into more whole relationships in which the fullness of each person is honored, allowing a deep mutuality and respect.

Whether you believe in astrology or not, it does not matter. What this is saying is that it is a time to look within and open to being loved by ourselves and beyond. And in doing so, all relationships are healed.

I hope this has helped. I’ve been hearing that many are having a challenging time right now. We are in this together. Let’s Open to the Divine. Right now.

Blessings,

Asha

This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 14th, 2010 at 8:30 pm and is filed under Spiritual. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.