Archive for June, 2010

Pain through the eyes of a girl

Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010
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She came into my life and was in pain. Physical, emotional, and whatever other kind of pain we can experience. We were in a group and you know what they say, Squeaky Wheel. Yes, when you are in pain, you gotta be loud. Really loud.

I saw myself in her, yet there was more and I wasn’t sure what it was. The group asked of her to be in silence, and that her answers would come in that place of true listening. She wasn’t ready to hear that,  and so she left. Never returned. I went deeper to really hear the message she was delivering in her short visit.

I got the visual to better understand the young woman I speak about through one of my husband’s photos. He brought this sad, sad story home for me to be profoundly changed by. These young girls live in the dump in Guatemala. Live. That is their backyard. That is their job. That is their grocery store. That is their Target, BJ and otherwise. This is home and everything in between.

Garbage day is everyday by Glen Cooper, www.visualreportage.com

Check the story: http://dmpj.com/blog/2009/04/garbage-day-is-every-day/

My dialogue with Mother Spirit about all this:

Mother: Asha, do you believe people live like this?

Me: Of course not! It is inhumane.

Mother: What do you think they feel, see  and want when you come into their home?

Me: They want desperately to be taken out of their pain, and they will say or do anything that gets them closer to eradicating the pain.

Mother: Is this person ready to be in silence?

Me: I suppose it must be really painful to try that one. Now I understand why it was natural for her to be offended (referring to the girl in pain). Asking her to be in the quiet of her pain sounds down right terrifying, and bordering on cruelty.

Mother: Can you feel compassion?

Me: I understand.

Mother: She wanted ways out of her pain- so she asked questions.  She was not prepared to work for it because that felt like more pain- so she would talk over you, and her own words. She is attached to the stories that brought the pain-so the pain now has a hold of her.

Like a child, she doesn’t know how to get out. Can you give her smaller bites? Can you show her step by step? Many do. Many try. Many fail. Some can hear the big answer and their hearts open instantaneously, some it takes years or lifetimes.

She is not your responsibility. She was here to teach. What a great Teacher she is. She taught the obvious of the mirror exercise, and she teaches the esoteric Truths that go beyond her, you, and your circle. Thank her for her Teaching. Release her from your responsibility. And embrace the next girl in pain, with an open heart.

You will know what to do. Listen.

 

Pockets of quiet and stillness

Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010
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Last summer, I had sitters and camps all lined up so that I could work, and then each sitter fell through, and yes, my kids refused to go to camp.

I was pissed! And then I settled into how amazing it is that I have a choice to slow down if that is what my family and my own sanity need. And so, I had a blast. Yes, the kids watched more movies than they did all year long (in my attempt to hear less fighting and do a little paper work), but we had fun.

Beginning the planning for this summer, I was shooting for another working summer for me (with the glorious month of August off- life is tough, I know!), and then I tuned in to ME (the big me, the Soul me). It turns out she wants to slow down. Ugh! Really? Slow down? But the company needs me, the kids can be plopped into camps, and I got LOTS of projects in the works… slow down?… do I have to? (wining here- yeah, you know the sound)

So, I compromised with my soul (no, it’s not like a pact with the devil or anything!) I have figured out a way to slow down, get writing time, work time, and still spend tons of time with the kids. Ok, that sounds so busy, I’m scaring myself here. Yes, all this figuring out was happening in my head only- in an attempt to hold on the the reigns of my life. Who is this SOUL lady think she is anyway!

But then there is the moment to moment living. THAT is what my soul is asking more of… listen to the moment it whispers (yes, I hear voices, put me in the nut house- that ought to slow ya down.)

My own internal guidance system wants to savor summer and being present without being pushed. (Yes, I’m pushy, even with myself, just ask the photographers that work with us!)

I’m not a Bible quoter- rehabbed from my boarding school days actually, but this seems so appropriate…

Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God

In the stillness and quiet of the moment, answers come, or more importantly, we can allow to see the Divine within. The idea of stillness and quiet seem so foreign to most of us as parents, but the truth is that just by BEING with the children,  pockets of quiet & stillness bring the most unexpected gifts. Notice  those pockets.

No matter what kind of summer you have with them. My life is just one way, you have yours, just stop & pay attention to those unforgettable little moments that make you feel alive and connected. :)

Hugs,

Asha

 

Enlightenment in 5 days

Saturday, June 5th, 2010
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When your Momma calls after giving you the space you needed to grow, you answer. Or at least I did. You can call it crazy talk, but I heard her. Loud and clear. She took the chance as I burried my iPhone into silence for 5 days, and She instructed me. I’m not kidding you. After two days of writing like a mad woman, I got the instructions.

I wasn’t sure I’d last in silence for 5 days. In fact, I wasn’t even sure I’d come out of there sane at all. Well, the jury is still out on that one, but one thing is true, I heard Divine Mother, especially as I offered my Yes to do her work. What was surprising was how much I enjoyed silence. I ended up staying at a hotel, and I was so relieved not to have to talk to anyone; I would just pass my little note saying “I’m in silence. Can I have 2 eggs over easy, hash browns, no bread, no meat, OJ… to go.  Thank you. :) ” Delicious. I loved silence and silence loved me.

Coming home was not easy, my friends. Not easy at all. My ears could not believe how much noise one man and two small children make, or how fast emails pile after 5 days, or the overwhelm of phone calls to return, and most importantly how confusing it is to integrate the experience and bring it to my life.

Well, it’s now been 5 days, and I am settled. I’m not in bliss every moment, but I am firm in the knowing that it is all in how I react to the life I have. So, I’m chanting a little bit, to bring my mind to a place of peace. Not surprisingly, big changes are in motion- some by me, some by members in my family, and some by my big Momma within.

I’d like to offer this gift of silence to other women. And so part of saying this Yes is bringing my Coaching and Spiritual Midwifery dormant selves to the surface again. It’s like riding a bicycle, I’m sure,  especially since I really have not stopped providing this service, I just call it being a friend these days. :)

Hugs,

Asha